Anvils And Axes
by CanzetYote
Summary: The Criminal Minds BAU has a case in the Toon Town division of Los Angeles. With the help of Bonkers, Miranda Wright and Lucky Piquel, can they catch the unsub in time before he strikes again?
1. Trouble In Los Angeles

**NOTE:** _All right, I decided it had to happen. No one has bothering trying to write up a Bonkers and Criminal Minds crossover fic. I never watched Bonkers much as a kid, in fact I just started watching it on Youtube. I'm also hooked on Criminal Minds. I decided to put two cop shows together and came up with this. And yes, the unsub is a shape-shifting toon but I won't reveal his name until later chapters. All that I will tell you now is that he's an ermine who partially copies The Collector's laminating MO._

In a cold, dark warehouse, a young boy with blonde hair sat alone in a capsule of some sort. With the exception of his head, he was turned to stone and curled up into a fetal position looking visibly frightened.

The boy looked up at the tall, anthropomorphic toon ermine towering above him as he quivered in fear. The toon had white fur, a bomber jacket and a pair of sunglasses. He took off the sunglasses to reveal striking, cold emerald green eyes that sparkled with sadistic glee. The ermine chuckled a bit, "So, little one. Are you ready to die?"

The child glared at the toon ermine, "My mommy will get you arrested, you're a bad bad man!"

"Oh, just shut it." The ermine replied coldly as he flipped a lever, causing the boy's head to turn to stone. The toon transformed into a giant pick-axe and grinned, "I got mining to do." And with that, the pick-axe plunged himself into the traumatized, laminated stone child.

Meanwhile, back in the police office. Bonkers was shaking his head in disbelief at the newspaper. The deaths of Chelsea Wall and Jake Lancaster brought tears to the bobcat's eyes. Normally, he would be gung-ho on catching a criminal but any cases that involved children dying made him sick to his stomach. How could anyone be so evil? The toon blood drained from Bonkers' face and he looked sick, "I don't know about you, Miranda but this case is just horrible..."

Miranda tried to smile as she looked at Bonkers, "Why not go out for some fresh air?"

Bonkers looked down, a tear trickling down his muzzle and dripping off his nose onto his lap, "Uh...all right. Okay, maybe you're right. Fresh air is what I need, yeah..."

The bobcat sadly walked out the office and went outside. He took a deep breath and rubbed his furry orange head, wiping his tear-filled eyes. He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up to see Miranda Wright, "If you don't want to take this case, I understand. I won't hold it against you if you back down on it. Cases like these can shake even the most seasoned cops." Bonkers nodded sadly and sniffled.

Meanwhile, in Washington DC, Lucky was with his family and he was eating breakfast and getting ready to go to his job at the FBI. His wife Dyl smiled at him, "Honey, I think its about time we went on vacation. Our anniversary is coming up."

Lucky raised an eyebrow, "To where?"

Dyl grinned, "The toon town district of Los Angeles, of course. You can visit Bonkers of course."

Lucky spit out his crisbix cereal and looked shocked, "Toon Town? There's absolutely nothing romantic about that place!"

"Come on, daddy. Don't you miss your friend, Bonkers?" Marilyn begged him.

Lucky looked at his daughter and let out a sigh, "Oh, all right. We'll fly out there tomorrow morning."

"Yay, daddy! You're the best!" Marilyn said as she hugged her father.

And with that, Lucky put on his uniform, got in his car and sped off to the FBI headquarters.

Meanwhile, Jennifer Jareau, Spencer Reid, Derek Morgan, Emily Prentiss and David Rossi were sitting at a table in the FBI office. Aaron Hotchner was standing in front of them with a remote. He clicked the button and turned on the screen, "A month ago in Toon Town, Chelsea Wall was found in a dumpster. Apparently, she was turned to stone and broken up into pieces. Her head was unharmed."

Reid examined the crime scene photo and nodded, "It's as if the unsub wanted someone to identify her."

Hotch continued, "Two weeks later, Jake Lancaster was found in a garden. He, too was turned to stone and his head unharmed."

Prentiss shook her head, "No normal human could've done this."

"It all took place in Toon Town, Los Angeles, right? Maybe the unsub is a toon." Morgan suggested.

Hotch nodded, "That could be a possibility."

"The idea that a cartoon character is capable of killing a child sounds like something from a horror novel." Rossi commented.

"In Greek mythology, a gorgon known as Medusa would turn her victims into stone. Perhaps the unsub we're dealing with may be a toon gorgon?" Reid suggested.

"Any connection between the two victims?" JJ asked.

"Both Wall and Lancaster were children of police officers on the LAPD force." Hotch explained.

Morgan rubbed his chin a bit, "Revenge by proxy, maybe?"

"Was there any signs of sexual assault?" Prentiss asked.

"Both bodies are being autopsied in the lab as we speak. They'll be blacklighted for traces of semen." Hotch explained.

"Most toons aren't anatomically correct, so I doubt rape was present." Reid explained.

"Yeah, that's good to know." JJ replied dryly.

Just outside the door, Lucky Piquel was listening in on the conversation when he heard "Toon Town" come up. This piqued his interest and he opened the door to see the BAU gathered around the table. All fell silent, "Hi, I'm Agent Lucky Piquel and I was in the hallway and overheard you people talking about Toon Town."

Hotch looked over at the fat agent, "Do you have any business there?"

"As a matter of fact, I used to work in the Toon division of the LAPD. My partner was Bonkers Bobcat." Lucky explained.

Reid blinked a bit, "Bonkers Bobcat, the star of Raw Toonage? I used to be a big fan of his when I was a kid. One of the few cartoons I watched. I've always found toon physics to be quite fascinating. I mean, they can break so many laws of logic and have this unrestrained emotional energy just bursting through them. I mean, it's as if they're made from a science-defying ink of some-"

"Reid." Hotch cut off the rambling young agent.

Prentiss looked at Lucky, "We're about to depart to Toon Town in our jet."

Lucky grinned, "Perfect. Is it all right if my family comes along? I told my wife and daughter that we'll be having our anniversary in Toon Town."

Rossi sighed a bit, "That may not be a very good idea, Agent Piquel."

Lucky looked confused, "Why not?"

"The type of unsub we're looking for in Toon Town is kidnapping children of law enforcement. Do you really want to take that risk with your daughter?" Hotch replied.

Lucky thought about it for a bit, "I'll talk with my wife about this." And with that, Lucky Piquel stepped out of the office and dialed a number on his cellphone. His wife answered and they started having a conversation.

Meanwhile, back in the room Morgan let out a sigh, "Is it really a good idea to let this Piquel guy tag along with us? He's not part of the BAU."

"I'll call Garcia and ask her about his credentials." Rossi picked up his phone and called Garcia.

Garcia answered on the other end. Recently, she dyed her hair blue and had pink streaks in it, "Well, hello there, my little sugarmuffin how can I-"

Rossi interrupted her, "It's Agent Rossi, Garcia. I'd like you to look up the police file for a Lucky Piquel. He claims to have worked the toon division in LA."

Garcia felt embarrassed and started typing rapidly, "Um...all right. Lucky Piquel. Just give me a second while I work my techno wizard magic and..." A picture and file of Lucky Piquel appeared on the screen, along with a picture of Bonkers and Wright "Yep, he's telling the truth. He was the partner of Bonkers D Bobcat before Miranda Wright took over and let me tell you, this Bonkers guy is pretty darn cute for a toon."

Lucky got off his phone and entered the room again, "They're just too stubborn. They're really set on going."

Hotch sighed, "Well, in that case one of us will have to babysit your daughter while the rest of us crack this case."

JJ stood up, "I'll do it. I'm great with kids."

Morgan smiled, "Perfect. Let's go fly out to LA. I've always wanted to face a toon unsub."

**NOTE:** _All right. First chapter down and I still have a LOT more to go. I plan for Bonkers to have some funny interactions with Emily Prentiss and Derek Morgan later on. Also, Bonkers really hits it off with Spencer Reid. So the next chapter will feature Piquel and the BAU (minus Garcia) meeting up with Bonkers and Miranda._


	2. Bonkers Meets The BAU

**NOTE:**___First chapter down and a lot more to work on. Here's the second chapter. Bonkers seems to enjoy giving the agents funny and cute nicknames. Also, there's a refrence to the movie "Willow". See if you can catch it._

Bonkers and Miranda were at the Los Angeles airport and the bobcat was hopping up and down like an ADHD kid who had too much caffeine, "Ohmygoodnessohmygoodnessohmy goodnessLuckyscominbackLucky scomingLUCKYSCOMING!"

Bonkers lept nearly 15 feet into the air as he tossed confetti out of his pockets. Miranda smiled at him, "You must be real excited about it, huh Bonkers?"

Bonkers nodded rapidly, "Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh! YIPPEE!"

Meanwhile, the BAU and Piquel's family were flying in the private jet.

_"Be original and remember that what we do is what you just can't do - Aqua."_ Emily Prentiss quoted.

There was a long awkward silence which was to be broken by David Rossi, "So Lucky, how long have you been partners with this Bonkers fellow?"

"Oh, we had a good run. He's a nice guy and he means well but he takes time to warm up to." Lucky explained

"What do you mean by that?" Prentiss asked Lucky.

"He can be kind of...hyper and...weird. You'll see when we get there." Lucky replied.

Marilyn giggled a bit, "He's a really funny toon."

Hotch smiled at Lucky's family, "By the way, I don't think I've introduced you to the team yet. I'm SSA Aaron Hotchner. This is SSA Derek Morgan, Doctor Spencer Reid, SSA Emily Prentiss, SSA David Rossi and Agent Jennifer Jareau."

The BAU smiled at Lucky Piquel as he shook their hands.

Reid spoke up a bit, "You know, I'm pretty stoked to be meeting that toon partner of yours, Lucky. I've been a fan of him since I was little. Did you know that cartoons originated in the Middle Ages and mostly came in the form of fresco, tapestries and stained glass?"

Lucky blinked a little, "No, I uh...did not know that."

"Then I can tell you're not a very big fan of toons now, are you?" Reid replied.

"Yeah, my husband's never liked toons that much." Dyl replied to Reid.

"This vacation to Toon Town is gonna be fun, isn't it daddy?" Marilyn asked.

Lucky rubbed his head nervously as he remembered what Hotch said about the unsub, "Uh...sure."

Reid spoke up again, "You know what I find interesting, Marilyn was on the show in 1993. Now it's 2011 and she hasn't aged a bit. Why is that?"

Morgan just shrugged, "Toon physics, man. Status quo stays the same."

"Not necessarily." Reid replied, "Marilyn's a human, not a toon. There could be a chance we're in a time warp to the past but that couldn't be logical considering we haven't de-aged. Furthermore-"

Prentiss rolled her eyes and interrupted Reid's rant, "Let's just crack this case and quit breaking the fourth wall. We're almost at the airport."

"Isn't this great, honey? I bet Bonkers will be thrilled to see you." Dyl said to Lucky.

Lucky groaned a bit, "And once he meets me he'll probably pounce on me and shower me with kisses."

Later, after the BAU and Piquel family got off the jet...

Bonkers has pounced on Lucky and was showering his with kisses. Tears of joy streamed down Bonkers' face like waterfalls as he showered the fat agent with toony affection.

Miranda Wright stood in front of the BAU and smiled at them, "I'm Miranda Wright and this is my partner, Bonkers."

Hotch looked at Miranda, "I'm SSA Aaron Hotchner and this is my team, SSA Derek Morgan, SSA Emily Prentiss, SSA David Rossi, Doctor Spencer Reid and SSA Agent Jennifer Jareau."

Bonkers' ears perked up as he noticed the BAU and he ran towards them, vigorously shaking their hands as he hopped up and down like a child who had too much sugar, "Hi there, hi there, hi there. I'm Bonkers D Bobcat reporting for duty! You're agent Madmartigan right?" The toon asked Morgan as he was shaking his hand.

Morgan chuckled a bit, "Actually, it's Morgan. Derek Morgan."

Bonkers ears wilted, "Awww...killjoy. Is it all right if I call you agent Madmartigan?"

Morgan shrugged and laughed again, "Sure, man. Whatever floats your boat."

Bonkers blinked, "I don't own a boat. I used to but the neighbors kept filing noise complaints so it got impounded." Bonkers turned to Reid, "So, you're a doctor, right? Does that mean you're going to press a cold metal thingy to my chest and press a popsickle stick on my tongue?"

Reid smiled at the toon bobcat, "Actually, I'm a different kind of doctor, like a psychological kind of doctor. I study behavior and the mind. Did you know that your ancestors come from the middle ages and were tapestries and stained glass. There's irony in that because toons in general are indestructible yet stained glass breaks so easily. It's fascinating, don't you think?"

Bonkers looked blown away, "Wow! So my ancestors were on church windows? That is so cool! Why do they call you Doctor Reid? Is it cause you read a lot of books?"

"Actually my name is spelled like R-E-I-D." Reid replied.

Bonkers smiled, "Oh, like the bug killer? Remind me to call you over when I have termite problems."

Bonkers walked up to JJ and she reached out and petted him, scratching him behind the ears. The toon bobcat started feeling relaxed, "Oh yeah, that's the spot."

JJ chuckled, "I'm Jennifer Jareau but you can call me JJ. You know, you are kind of cute"

Bonkers blushed a little and without a word, he moved on to Rossi. The bobcat grinned and him and choked back a giggle. Rossi looked somewhat annoyed, "What's so funny?"

Bonkers snickered a bit, "Oh nothing, nothing at all. It's just that, do you ever get food caught in that beard of yours? I've known some toons who keep all sorts of things hidden in their beards."

Rossi rolled his eyes and Bonkers laughed again, "You're David Rossi, right? Is it okay if I call you David Lee Roth?"

"No." Rossi replied coldly.

Bonkers whimpered a little and moved on to Hotch, imitating the agent's stern expression, "So Hotch, I'll be calling you Hot Chocolate from now on. Not Hot Chocolate as in the singer with Taco Bell bean bubble throat but Hot Chocolate as in the drink with teeny little marshmallows in it that you drink in the winter. Are you fine with that?"

"No comment." Hotch replied.

Bonkers shrugged, "Fair enough." The bobcat moved on to Emily Prentiss, "And you're Emily Prentiss."

Prentiss let out a sigh, "Please, don't give me a stupid nickname."

Bonkers smiled at the pale, brunette agent, "All right then, I'll call you a smart nickname instead. I'm going to call you Christmas Present because I can't say Prentiss properly."

Prentiss rolled her eyes, "You just said my name correctly. Are you serious?"

Bonkers shook his head and blew a raspberry, "I'm a toon, I'm NEVER serious!" The bobcat then started dancing around and singing Jingle Bells. JJ and Morgan couldn't help but snicker at Bonkers' antics while Hotch, Prentiss and Rossi seemed annoyed.

Reid smiled a bit, "At least he has a sense of humor on the job."

Prentiss sighed, "Maybe a little too much humor if you ask me."

"Is your partner always like that?" Rossi asked Miranda.

Miranda smiled, "I've grown to tolerate it. Police business can get very grim at times, it's nice to have a toon cop to lighten things up."

Suddenly, Sergeant Grating burst into the airport and ran towards the BAU, Bonkers, Piquel and Miranda. He paused to catch his breath a little.

"Woah there, Sarge. Where's the fire?" Bonkers asked playfully.

"Another victim was found, 6 year old Todd English, son of officer Teresa English." Grating huffed.

"All Right." Hotch replied, "In that case: Rossi, Prentiss, Wright, Morgan and myself will interview the families of the victims. JJ, you take Lucky and his family to their reserved hotel, Reid and Bonkers, check the dump site where English was found."

Bonkers gave Hotch a salute, "Aye-aye, Hot Chocolate, sir! Raid and I will examine the body and maybe spray a few ants!"

Meanwhile, a shady looking man in a trench coat stood at the desk of the Golden Toon Motel and the clerk smiled at him, "All right, Nave Devlin. Here's your keycard to room 206. Enjoy your stay at the Golden Toon Motel."

"Nave" smiled a bit, "Don't worry, I'll enjoy every sweet minute of the rest and relaxation."

And with that, "Nave" got on the elevator and walked out into the hallway. He swiped his keycard in room 206 and the first thing he did was go to the bathroom. Once inside, "Nave" morphed into his true form, a white ermine in a black bomber jacket. He grinned at his own reflection in the mirror, gazing into his own striking malachite green eyes and flashing his razor sharp, pearly white fangs in a twisted grin, "I'll enjoy this stay so very much."

**NOTE: **_Just so you know, Nave is not the REAL name of the unsub. It's just a human alias of his. And yes, Reid and Bonkers will visit the dump site together so be prepared for an adorable conversation._


	3. Giving The Profile

**NOTE:**_ Just so you know, the reason this fic isn't set in 2013 is because Emily Prentiss left the BAU and was replaced by Alex Blake. This fanfic takes place around Season 7, hence why Gideon, Seaver, Greenaway and Blake aren't in it. Personally, I like Prentiss better than Blake as she's one of my favorite agents on the show. Also, in this chapter I originally intended for Bonkers to bring up being abducted by The Collector and Spencer Reid sharing the Tobias Hankel story with Bonkers but decided not to._

Spencer Reid and Bonkers were walking outside near the dumpsite and the two were deep in conversation.

Reid was in the middle of one of his rants, "You know, Bonkers. I must say that it's an honor to meet you in real life. You were one of the few cartoons I liked as a kid. You know, it's rare when actual actors get careers in law enforcement but I think you've been doing a pretty good job from the sounds of things. Sure, you're methods may be a little unorthodox by human standards but then again, what exactly is "normal"?

Bonkers blushed a little, "Awww, that's so sweet of you. You're making me feel all embarassed."

"You mean flattered?" Reid replied, "You know, you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. You're a brilliant detective in your own way. There are some cases where detectives must think outside the box and being a toon, that sort of mindset would only come natural to you."

Bonkers smiled at Reid, "Thanks, Doctor Raid."

They eventually arrived at the body and Bonkers knelt down by it. The bobcat's lip quivered and his bright blue eyes filled with salty tears. Bonkers suddenly burst into uncontrollable sobbing and buried his face in his gloved hands. Reid put his hand on Bonkers' shoulder and sighed, "This kind of thing happens a lot to us."

Bonkers buried his face in Reid's chest and wept hysterically. Unsure what to say, the genius rubbed the toon bobcat's back until his tears subsided. Bonkers looked at Reid with warm tears rolling down his muzzle, "D-D-Do you think I'm weak f-f-f-for c-c-crying?"

Reid shook his head, "Of course not. Sometimes, even the strongest officers cry. Besides, crying is healthy. Scientific studies have proven that it's better to let it all out than bottle up your emotions. Tears aren't always a sign of weakness, you know." Reid gently rubbed Bonkers behind his ears, causing the feline cop to relax a little.

Bonkers sniffled a bit and looked back at the body then suddenly, something clicked in the bobcat's brain, "The Collector."

"I beg your pardon?" Reid asked the toon.

"The Collector. He was the very first case Lucky and I worked in. He'd also turn his victims to stone only his victims were other toons, not human children. He'd use this thing called The Laminator. He'd keep them captive in a sewer and pose as a toon when he was really a human." Bonkers explained.

"Are you telling me the unsub is a possible copycat?" Reid asked.

Bonkers looked confused, "What's an unsub and what does that have to do with cats?"

"Unsub stands for unknown subject. In other words, the killer we're trying to catch. I'm not sure if he's feline, though." Reid explained. Bonkers shrugged as Reid continued, "Besides, the victimology is different so if the unsub's trying to copy The Collector's MO, he's doing a pretty poor job at it."

Reid began examining the body of the petrified child and noticed a bunch of puncture wounds on him, "The unsub must've used a weapon like a pick-axe after he turned them to stone."

Suddenly, Bonkers looked absolutely horrified, "When I came face-to-face with the Collector, I noticed that when he laminated them, they could still open and move their eyes after being turned to stone."

Reid looked at Bonkers with a serious expression, "So that means if the unsub got his hands on the laminator, he'd be turning these children into stone. Despite being petrified, they're still conscious as he picks them to death. The pain the children are going through must be agonizing. I'll call Hotch, I think we're going to deliver to profile soon enough."

Meanwhile, Emily Prentiss and Miranda Wright were talking to Teresa English, the mother of Todd English.

"We're truly sorry for your loss, Miss English. The pain you must be going through now is unimaginable." Prentiss told her.

Teresa sniffled, a tear rolling down her cheek, "First my husband and now my son. Haven't I suffered enough already?"

"Ma'am, we promise. We're going to catch the monster who did this to your son." Miranda assured the distraught mother.

Teresa let out a sigh, "All I have left in this world is my job, my badge and my gun...I just don't know what to do anymore."

Miranda shook her head and Prentiss' phone began to ring, "Excuse me for a moment."

Prentiss walked outside and answered her phone, "Hello? Oh, Hotch. So that's what Reid told you? Interesting. Thanks."

Prentiss clicked her phone off and Miranda turned to her, "What's going on?"

"Gather everyone, we're going to the police station and we're ready to give the profile." Prentiss replied to Miranda.

Meanwhile at the Golden Toon Motel, JJ and the Piquel family entered their room, Room 211 and got settled down.

"I don't know how much I should thank you for this, JJ. You're willing to keep my daughter safe while my husband and I have a night out on the town." Dyl said to the blonde agent.

JJ smiled at Dyl, "Really, it's no problem at all."

Marilyn walked up to JJ, "You'll protect me if the bad man comes, right?"

JJ smiled at Marilyn, "Of course I will sweetie, I'm an FBI agent. There's no need to worry when I'm around."

"Hooray!" Marilyn cheered as she hugged JJ and then her stomach started growling, "I'm also getting hungry. What's for dinner?"

"I'll be cooking spaghetti and meatballs." JJ replied.

Lucky and Dyl walked out the door and closed it behind them.

"Are you sure our daughter will be safe in the hotel?" Lucky asked Dyl.

Dyl smiled at her husband, "Of course. She's in good hands with Jennifer. I wouldn't worry about her for a second."

Meanwhile, down the hallway in the hotel, "Nave Devlin" was putting quarters into a vending machine and a bottle of water came out. He unscrewed the cap and put in a potent knockout powder into the water. He then put the cap back on as tight as he could and walked out into the hallway, morphing into the form of Bonkers.

"Bonkers" knocked on the door of room 211 and JJ opened the door, "Oh, hi Bonkers. Aren't you supposed to be with Reid?"

"Bonkers" smiled at her, "We got back early and I decided I wanted to check up on you and Marilyn. I got this water for you out in the hall. You really look thirsty and could use a drink."

JJ grabbed the water and took a sip of it and she smiled at "Bonkers", "You know...I'm starting to feel light-headed." Just then, the agent collapsed on the ground and Marilyn noticed and screamed, "JJ!"

"Bonkers" grinned at then and transformed into his true self, a white toon ermine with piercing green eyes and a black bomber jacket. The toon then approached them slowly, laughing wickedly.

Meanwhile, Reid, Prentiss, Hotch, Morgan, Rossi, Miranda and Bonkers were standing in front of the LAPD, giving the profile.

"The unsub we're looking for is an adult male toon." Reid stated, "He was most likely an actor who played villainous roles in cartoons."

"Due to the poor economy, he may be getting by as a labrat for tests. Toons are virtually indestructible so working as an under-the-table labrat would make sense." Prentiss added.

"Because of this, he most likely had access to equipment such as the laminator. We believe he's turning his victims to stone for control and dominance. He most likely lost control of his life at some point and is trying to keep his victims under control." Hotch added.

"Our unsub has an eye-for-an-eye philosophy on life. He's targeting the children of the LAPD because the LAPD may have taken one of his own loved ones away. He may be luring the children by posing as their favorite cartoon character, some toons have better shapeshifting abilities than others. His MO includes revenge by proxy." Morgan added.

"Mexican Drug Cartels often use the revenge by proxy motive. Our unsub may have been a drug dealer at some point and may even still be one. If he himself has taken drugs, things can become much more dangerous. Drug effects on toons are much more potent than drug effects on humans. Expect him to be calm one minute and a raging lunatic the next." Rossi added.

"The unsub is likely partially copying the MO of The Collector, perhaps the method of lamination appeals to him or he's a fan of The Collector. He may be keeping his victims captive in a warehouse or underground" Miranda Wright added.

"And above all, our unsub is a big stinky doo-doo head. He probably picks his nose while singing the national anthem backwards and he probably hates it when people put mayonnaise on his burgers." Bonkers added.

Prentiss rolled her eyes, "Really?"

Morgan looked at Prentiss, "Well the unsub DOES sound like a big stinky doo-doo head."

Bonkers grinned at Morgan, "That's the spirit, Madmartigan!"

**NOTE:**_Uh Oh, looks like JJ and Marilyn have encountered the unsub in a not-so-pretty way. Anyways, stay "tooned", you'll find out more about this nasty ermine. _


	4. The Donut Shop

**NOTE: **_In this chapter, we find out the unsub's name. He's an ermine and I based him off the Toon Patrol from Who Framed Roger Rabbit? and Wacky Weasel from the Bonkers' episode Get Wacky. Unlike Wacky, he has white fur, green eyes, sunglasses that he usually wears on his head and a black bomber jacket. He's also voiced by David Spade, so picture Spade's voice in your head as you read his lines. _

After giving the profile, the BAU and Miranda and Bonkers were walking out of the office and Hotch glared at Bonkers, "Big stinky doo-doo head? We're the FBI, not a kindergarten classroom."

Bonkers looked sad, "But I-"

"No buts." Hotch interrupted, "We were profiling the unsub like professionals until you made that asenine little comment."

Bonkers whimpered a little, "Come on, Hot Chocolate, where's your sense of humor?"

"No where near you, if you're curious." Hotch replied to the toon bobcat coldly.

Bonkers looked down, a small tear running down his face slowly. Morgan rested his hand on the toon's shoulder and spoke up, "Come on, Hotch. He's only a toon. Besides, he could be a real help in a case like this."

Prentiss looked at Bonkers' tearful face and sighed, "As much as I hate to admit it, Morgan's right. If the unsub's a toon, it would be much easier to catch him with a toon cop on our side."

Hotch looked at Morgan, Bonkers and Prentiss as if they were on drugs, "The 3 of you can try and catch the unsub however you want. Rossi, Wright and I will investigate the sewer where The Collector operated. Reid, you stay here and serve as backup in case JJ gets tired on her babysitting shift." Hotch then walked away with Rossi.

Miranda turned to Bonkers who was still making puppydog eyes, "I'm sorry, Bonkers but it would probably be best if we split up and you go with Morgan and Prentiss. I'll try and convince Hotch and Rossi why they should warm up to you."

"Okay, bye." Bonkers sniffled as he waved sadly. The toon bobcat turned to the dark-haired female and African-american male agents, "Why is Hot Chocolate so mad at me? Did he wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?"

Morgan knelt down before Bonkers and placed his hand on his head, petting him "Don't worry about it, Hotch is a very serious guy. He's not used to being around toons."

Prentiss looked into Bonkers' tearful eyes and she couldn't help but feel sympathy for him, "If it makes you feel better, I'll let you call me Christmas Present."

Overjoyed, Bonkers lept up and kissed Prentiss on the cheek, "Thank you so much! Now, let's get this case cracked like an egg and scrambled!"

Bonkers skipped away and Morgan looked at Prentiss, "See? He's feeling better already. Cute little fella, huh?"

"I just got kissed by ink and paint, I'm not sure how I should feel." Prentiss responded.

Meanwhile, JJ and Marilyn were in the back on a car and both had woken up by now. Marilyn reached for her seatbelt when a voice called out to her front the driver's seat, " Touch that seatbelt and I WILL blow up this car we're in. Trust me, I have a bomb under this vehicle and I can detonate it when I feel like it."

Suddenly, Marilyn gasped at the familiar tone of the voice, "E-Ethan Ermine, is that you? I remember you! You were Skunky Skunk's arch nemesis, along with your brother, Evan. I never did like you!"

Ethan slowly turned his head towards Marilyn, his green eyes flashing, "Is that so?"

JJ faked a smile at the toon unsub, "I, on the other hand have always admired you since I was a little girl."

"WHAT!?" Marilyn shrieked.

JJ casually winked at Marilyn, she had a trick up her sleeve, "Yes, I've always thought you've had the most beautiful green eyes, Ethan. There were times when I would skip homework so I could watch Skunky Skunk and gaze into those beautiful eyes of yours."

Ethan chuckled a bit, "Aww, stop it. You're making me blush and my white fur isn't doing me any favors."

"No, I'm serious. I even made a doll of you and carried it wherever I went. Boy, did the kids tease me in school." JJ lied.

Ethan smiled a bit, "You know, you're not so bad. Maybe I'll give you my autograph. Just maybe." And with that, Ethan cranked up the radio in his car as "Paralyzer" by Finger Eleven blasted from the speakers.

Meanwhile, Hotch, Rossi and Miranda were exploring the sewers where The Collector held his victims captive.

"You see anything?" Miranda asked Hotch.

Hotch nodded and looked down at a huge imprint of where The Laminator once stood, "The machine that once stood here was used to petrify toons. I can tell by the imprints."

Rossi looked around and saw a box. He opened it and looked inside to find a dimension of laughing mouths, "Guys, I think I just found something."

Hotch and Miranda cautiously approached the box, guns drawn when suddenly, a creature lept out of the box. He appeared to be a tall anthropomorphic rabbit with a long snout, a hot pink mullet, a green captain's jacket and the lower half of a crocodile and he grinned at them, "Thank you from finally releasing me from my prison. I promise I'll make your lamination quick and painless."

Suddenly, he was cuffed by David Rossi who glared at him, "You have the right to remain silent."

"What the big idea!?" The creature asked, outraged.

Miranda nodded, "Yep, that's The Collector all right."

Hotch nodded, "That's all we need to know. You're going to the station with us. We need you for questioning."

"Same goes for your little assistant." Miranda added as she held up Mister Doodles by his arm.

Meanwhile, Morgan was driving the FBI van with Prentiss in shotgun and Bonkers in the backseat. Morgan turned to Bonkers, "I sure hope you know where you're taking us."

"Of course I know, have a little faith in me." Bonkers replied, "Turn right, now left, now right, now left, now circle all the way around and here we are!"

The van now parked in front of a donut shop and Prentiss rolled her eyes, "Donuts? Really?"

Bonkers looked at Prentiss, "Come on, Christmas Present, donuts are brain food to us cops. It helps us think clear enough to capture the bad guys!"

Morgan rolled his eyes, "Donuts, right. Might as well go in the shop then. I'm feeling kind of peckish myself. Besides, Hotch hasn't given us an address yet."

Prentiss rolled her eyes, "Boy, is Strauss gonna be on our case about this."

Bonkers looked confused, "Who's Strauss?"

"Trust me, the two of you probably would not get along." Prentiss replied.

Bonkers shrugged and the three entered the donut shop. "Beach Parade" by Armando Trovaioli was playing in the background as the three walked up to the counter and Bonkers spoke up, "Hello, I'd like a chocolate jelly-filled donut please."

Morgan tried to smile, "Glazed would be fine with me."

Prentiss sighed, "I'll just take a wheat donut. I'm not feeling like sugar at the moment."

The cashier was a grotesque old lady with a thick Jewish accent and she noticed Morgan and Prentiss wearing vests, "All right, since you're FBI, the two of you get a free discount." The lady then looked over at Bonkers, "All right, pay up shorty."

Bonkers then pulled a cute little red vest out of his pocket and a magic marker. He then put the vest on and wrote "FBI" on it with the marker and gave her a cute smile, "See? I'm FBI too!" Prentiss facepalmed at what Bonkers just did.

"Sorry, but you're just a silly toon cop in a red vest. Pay up." The cashier repeated.

Bonkers then pulled out a green toon fish out of his pocket with a dollar sign drawn on it, "This is all I have. I promise you, he's housebroken."

The cashier eyed the fish and the toon fish glared at her, "Look lady, I'm a fish. Don't cook me for your children or they might get mercury poisoning!"

The cashier rolled her eyes a bit, "Oh all right, I'll give it to my daughter as a present. She always wanted a smartass toon fish."

Prentiss, Morgan and Bonkers sat down at a table and Bonkers started humming along to Armando Trovaioli's "Beach Parade" which was still playing in the store and Morgan and Prentiss exchanged confused looks before Morgan spoke up, "You know, it is pretty catchy."

Prentiss rolled her eyes, "Please don't tell me you're becoming a toon, Morgan. You know, we should really be focussing on this investigation instead of sitting around, eating donuts."

Bonkers nodded, "Christmas Present is right. We need to solve this mystery like REAL detectives by waving our flashlights back and forth!"

Morgan casually munched on his donut while Prentiss facepalmed.

Meanwhile, Lucky and his family were eating dinner when all of a sudden, Spencer Reid burst into the restaurant and rushed up to the Piquels' table and Lucky stared at him in shock, "Reid, did something happen?"

**NOTE: **_Looks like poor Reid is going to be the bearer of bad news to Lucky over Marilyn's kidnapping. I also apologize for the serious lack of Penelope Garcia in this fic. To be honest, I wasn't sure how to write her in. She will be in the next chapter, however._


	5. Interrogating A Monster

**NOTE: **_This is the chapter where Aaron Hotchner interrogates The Collector and the BAU finds out the name of the unsub. Seriously, the idea of Hotch fearlessly facing down The Collector from Bonkers makes me tingle._

Reid looked at Piquel with a serious expression on his face, "All you need to know is that we need you and that it's an emergency."

Dyl looked at Reid, "Can it wait? This is our anniversary!"

Reid was out of breath and breathing heavily, "You don't understand. THIS is an EMERGENCY."

"What happened?" Lucky asked.

"I'll tell you in the car, we NEED you for this!" Reid explained.

Lucky turned to Dyl, "Sorry honey, looks like dinner has been cancelled."

"Why?" Dyl asked.

"Reasons related to the case." Reid explained, "Something just happened to one of our agents and Lucky needs to fill in."

"What's this all about?" Lucky asked Reid.

"I'll explain in the car." Reid replied. Lucky and Reid dashed out of the restaurant and into the patrol car.

Lucky glared at Reid, "Tell me what happened? Is my daughter safe? WHERE IS SHE!?"

Reid glared at Lucky, "Calm down, let me get a word in. I-i went to visit Marilyn and JJ at the hotel and when I got to their room, I found it ransacked and they were missing. The unsub must've taken them."

"WHAT!? That scumbag has MY daughter!?" Lucky Piquel was furious as he marched out of the car and opened the trunk, pulling a super soaker out.

Reid gave him a worried look, "A super soaker? What's that for?"

"Dip, I filled it up with dip. One blast and I can melt that filthy monster of a toon. Just you wait, Doctor Reid!" Lucky said.

"You're not acting rational, Lucky. Please stop." Reid replied.

Lucky just glared at the long-haired young genius, "What are you gonna do, shoot me? In case you haven't noticed, guys like you are all talk and no fight. Now if you excuse me, I have a vermin to exterminate!" Reid sat nervously in the passenger's seat and let out a deep sigh. There was no getting through to Piquel.

Meanwhile, Ethan, JJ and Marilyn stopped at a gas station to refuel. The ermine unsub closed his eyes and had a flashback.

_Young Ethan had just tripped and skinned his knee. He was crying uncontrollably and rivers of tears were trickling down his long snout. Evan knelt down beside his little brother and gently wiped the tears from Ethan's snout, "It will be all right, little bro. I'm here. Don't cry."_

_Ethan looked up at Evan tearfully, "Promise me you'll never leave me, that you'll always be there for me?"_

_Evan squeezed Ethan's little paw, "I promise, little brother. I'll always be with you no matter what."_

Ethan snapped back to reality and looked over at JJ and Marylin, "I'll go fill up this car. Do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars. If you so much as unbuckle your seatbelts, I will detonate the bomb and trust me, I'm not bluffing."

The toon unsub exited the car and Marilyn turned to JJ, "I'm scared."

JJ turned to Marilyn, "Everything will be okay as long as we play along with him."

The ermine finished pumping the gas into his car and got into the driver's seat of the car. Ethan looked at the girls with half-lidded green eyes and smiled, "So, are you girls ready to go to my little playhouse?" The ermine ran a hand through his silky white mane of fur as he said this. JJ and Marilyn nodded, "Good, good. It's nice to know you won't run away. I like cooperation." And with that, the car sped off.

Meanwhile, Aaron Hotchner and The Collector are seated in an interrogation room and Hotch glares at the rabbit-like fake toon, "You understand why I took you here, don't you?"

The Collector leered down his long snout at the agent and snorted, "To waste my time, of course. Listen, I have better things to do like laminate my fellow toons so if you'll excuse me..."

Before the beast could finish his sentence, Hotch yanked his pencil claw-glove off his hand and held the glove up, "It's no use trying to fake it. Piquel told me all about you on the jet. You're a human, masquerading as a toon, possibly to lessen jail time if you get caught."

The Collector raised an eyebrow, "What exactly do you want me for?"

"There have been 3 child murders involving your laminator device. Someone else got a hold of it. Would you by any chance have any sort of admirers?" Hotch asked.

The Collector folded his arms, "What kind of idiot would use the laminator on a human? Humans are boring, hairless apes. There's absolutely no artistic value in humans. Toons are another story. Whoever is laminating these humans has no eye for art."

"I'm going to ask you the question again." Hotch told the fake toon sternly as he ripped off The Collector's other glove, "Do you have any admirers?"

The Collector folded his arms and remained quiet. Meanwhile, David Rossi was interviewing Mister Doodles in another interrogation cell.

"Why am I here? I-I-I-I'm not under arrest am I?" Doodles shivered.

Rossi leaned into Doodles, "So, tell me, how does your boss treat you?"

Doodles faked a smile, "Fair. He treats me just fine."

"Oh really? Well, judging by your body language, I know your experiences with him tell a different story." Rossi observed.

Doodles let out a sigh, shaken like a leaf, "What do you want me to tell you?"

"The truth." Rossi answered, "Tell me the truth and I promise you, you won't be charged as an accessory to kidnapping."

Doodles shuddered and bit and nodded, "All right...sometimes...often times, The Collector gets really mad at me."

"And what does he do when he gets mad?" Rossi asked Mister Doodles.

Tears began to fill Doodles' eyes, "Yell at me, throw me around, sometimes he'd choke me. A couple times, he even laminated me and changed me back just to toy with me."

"Do you know anything about The Collector having any fans?" Rossi asked Doodles.

Doodles shook his head, tears dripping down his face, "He never tells me anything about his personal life. He keeps it all a secret."

Meanwhile, Hotch was still interviewing The Collector who was refusing to cooperate with him. The collector scratched the chin of his rabbit-like mask with his human hand and smirked, "I see you're struggling to break me. Are you really that good to be an FBI agent? What a joke you are!"

Hotch looked at The Collector with a stern expression, "You're not a toon, you're a human being. As a child, you were beaten by your parents for wetting the bed. If your father caught you reading comics or watching cartoons, he'd punish you by raping you. In your preteen years, you collected small animals and drugged them so they would become immobile and called it art. Many art critics rejected you and that is when you met Mister Doodles. You took him in as your slave and forced him to kidnap toons for your own sick little fantasy. You would often beat, abuse and keep secrets from your little henchman and it's only a matter of time before he turns on you."

The Collector sighed, he knew every single thing Hotch said was true, "Nave Devlin." He spoke.

"I beg your pardon?" Hotch asked.

"Nave Devlin." The Collector repeated, "He would send me letters while I was trapped in that box. Bragged that he stole my machine and was putting it to good use."

Hotch got on his phone, "Garcia, look up everything you can find about a Nave Devlin."

Garcia checked her computer and came up with nothing, "I got nothing. Zip, zilch, nada. This Nave Devlin does not exist."

Hotch walked out of the interrogation room and thought a bit before replying, "Think outside the box, Garcia. Nave is Evan spelled backwards, try looking for an Evan Devlin."

Garcia started typing away on her computer and her jaw dropped in shock as she spoke into the phone, "Found it. Evan "Devlin" Ermine used to be a toon star and one of two main antagonists on the Skunky Skunk show. The thing is, he snapped and murdered the producer's family once the show was taken off the air. Evan was only 1 of 3 toons on California death row and was executed by being lowered into dip. Now is when things get complicated, he has this little brother named Ethan Ermine. Ethan was arrested for contempt of court during his brother's trial and handcuffing himself to Officer Piquel's leg to protest his brother's arrest. Both brothers were also known drug dealers among the toon community after the show got canned."

"Ethan Ermine's the unsub. His brother's execution must've been the stressor. Do you have an address for a warehouse, Garcia?" Hotch asked.

"4144 Muffin Lane. It's under ownership of Evan's name." Garcia replied.

"Thanks." Hotch replied, hanging up on Garcia and he started calling Morgan.

Meanwhile, Morgan, Prentiss and Bonkers were sitting in the FBI van and Morgan's phone rang and he picked it up, "Hotch? Really? You have the name of the unsub? Ethan Ermine? 4144 Muffin Lane? Got it." Morgan checked the GPS in the car, "We're only about a mile from the warehouse."

Bonkers' eyes widened, "Wait a minute, did he just say Ethan Ermine? I know that guy! He was one of the two main bad guys on the Skunky Skunk show. Marilyn must know him all too well. His brother, Evan was one of the few toons killed on death row. I don't think he ever got over that. Lucky told me how he caught Evan and just would not hear the end of it from Ethan. It happened before Lucky and I were partners. Oh yeah, and if I recall correctly, Ethan is deathly allergic to mayonnaise."

"Looks like we have our unsub. Let's move out." Prentiss replied.

Meanwhile, Hotch was talking with Rossi, "You stay here and keep an eye on The Collector, Wright and I are going after Ethan Ermine."

Rossi nodded and entered the interview room with The Collector. The rabbit-like creature glared at the bearded agent and Rossi spoke up, "Hey, Collector. I have 4 words for you."

The Collector raised an eyebrow, "Oh? And what would that be?"

"Don't drop the soap." Rossi replied, grinning.

**NOTE: **_Looks like Bonkers, Morgan and Prentiss are on their way to Ethan's warehouse as is Hotch and Miranda. Who do you think will get there first and face down the toon unsub? Stay "tooned" and find out!_


	6. Confronting The Unsub

**NOTE: **_This chapter is probably going to give you mixed emotions on Ethan. Also, Bonkers shows his extremely rare angry side and the creepy music box tune "Illabye" from the Criminal Minds episodes "The Fox" and "Mosley Lane" makes its brief return._

Miranda Wright and Aaron Hotchner were in a patrol car heading for the warehouse when Miranda spoke up, "Why are you treating Bonkers like a kid?"

"Because he's acting like one." Hotch replied. Miranda folded her arms as Hotch continued, "I know he's on his way to stop the unsub but I don't trust him. He's far too hyperactive and childlike to be in law enforcement. It's a good thing Derek Morgan and Emily Prentiss are there to babysit him."

Miranda glared at Hotch, "Babysit? Bonkers is a perfectly capable officer, I'll have you know. We've known each other for more than a decade. I trust him with my life. I know Bonkers better than any of you."

"Officer Grating told me about him and the collateral damage he causes." Hotch replied.

"Damage? What matters is the fact that he's saved countless lives and put several criminals in jail." Miranda explained.

Hotch turned to the blonde officer, "Have you two ever caught a serial killer before?"

"No, we haven't but there's a first time for everything." Miranda replied.

"To be honest, I don't think your partner has the heart to face down a cold-blooded serial killer. Most of the guys you face are bank robbers and common street thugs. The monsters my team faces are a completely different story." Hotch replied.

Miranda glared at Hotch, "Just you wait, Bonkers will take this killer off the streets soon enough."

Meanwhile, JJ and Marilyn were taken out of the car at gunpoint and led into the warehouse by the ermine unsub. It was right then, JJ reached into her pocket, trying to find her gun or cellphone. Ethan just smirked at her, "Missing something? Just so you know, baby. I crushed your little phone."

Marilyn glared at Ethan, "You really think I'm scared of you? You're just a silly toon."

Ethan just chuckled a bit, "Just a silly toon? Well, if I were just a silly toon, could I do this?" The ermine aimed his gun at Marilyn's feet and fired. The young girl let out a scream as the bullet entered her foot and she stumbled down. Ethan just smirked, "Don't worry. The lamination process shall stop the bleeding. You'll live, if I want you to. Now, get in the machine."

"No." Marilyn replied suddenly.

"Are you deaf, dumb or just plain ignorant?" Ethan snarled, "Get in the machine or I'll blow your brains out!"

"Do as he says, Marilyn." JJ said, "I promise we'll make it out of this alive."

The toon ermine turned to JJ, "You might but her, ehhhh...not so much."

And with that, Ethan forced JJ and Marilyn into the laminator and they turned to stone and were encased in capsules, just like the toon victims of The Collector. The unsub pressed a button on a remote control device, causing the capsules to disappear.

Ethan blinked a few times, a salty tear escaped from his right malachite green eye and rolled slowly down his muzzle to the tip of his nose. His long tongue flicked out and licked the tear off his nose, savoring the bitter saline flavor. He let out a deep, heavy sigh and a petrified JJ watched in shock as the ermine unsub looked at her. His expression was hurt and his eyes were full of tears and he spoke up, "Gone. It's all...gone. I have nothing left. Except you."

Ethan slowly approached the petrified JJ and gently ran his paw along her stone hair. He choked back a sob as a few more tears rolled down his face and he wiped his green eyes, sniffling, "After the show got canned. My brother murdered the Producer's entire family. When he was taken away by the police...I...I...I was so terrified. I cuffed myself to Officer Piquel's leg and begged him but...he wouldn't listen." The ermine blinked back more tears and tried to regain composure before continuing, "My brother went to prison...he was one of the few toons on death row...they lowered him...into the dip...I, I...I couldn't do anything. All I could do was watch...just...watch...now I have nothing. No one to wipe my tears when I cry...no one to hug me...it hurts so much, like you can't imagine."

Ethan looked at JJ and smiled. The eerie music box tune "Illabye" by Tipper started playing in the background as he spoke, "I'm not going to shatter you. You mean too much to me. No one liked me on the Skunky Skunk show, my merchandise was a flop...but you...you love me. And to be perfectly honest, I'm touched...Thank you..."

Ethan turned his head towards Marilyn, flashing a wicked grin with his razor-sharp fangs, "You on the other hand are disposable. I'll grind you to dust if I have to." The four fingers on Ethan's right hand slowly transformed into spinning drills as he approached the laminated Marilyn, "Think of it as a trip to visit the dentist only...you don't come back alive!"

"Illabye" stopped playing in the background as Morgan, Bonkers and Prentiss burst through the door of the warehouse and lined up in front of Ethan, guns drawn only Bonkers was still wearing his adorably fake FBI vest and carrying a squirt gun.

"ETHAN ERMINE, FBI!" Morgan shouted.

"Retract your claws and step AWAY from the girl!" Prentiss ordered.

Bonkers casually pulled a banana from his pocket and started eating it. Ethan just smirked at Prentiss, "Or what? You'll shoot me? In case you haven't noticed, I've had pianos dropped on me and I've been blown up by dynamite. Heck, I even survived DECAPITATION once. Silly rabbit, bullets won't do a thing."

"Come on, Ethan. You know killing her won't do anything to bring your brother back." Morgan reasoned with the toon unsub.

"You have no idea just how upset I am right now. He was the only thing I had left in this world! The LAPD destroyed my world, so I'm gonna destroy theirs!" Ethan snarled.

Prentiss glared at him, "Just because you lost a loved one doesn't justify kidnapping innocent children, turning them into stone and chiseling them to death."

Ethan rolled his eyes, "You simply have no idea, ya dumb broad. You know what ya are? A cold, unfeeling monster. Where's the empathy? Out the window. Who needs it?"

Morgan readied his gun, "We truly are sorry about what happened to your brother. Please, let Marilyn and agent Jareau go."

By this time, Bonkers had finished his banana and was holding the peel, "Guys, I'm a toon. Let me talk to him, I know my own kind."

Morgan looked to Bonkers, "All right."

Bonkers looked at Ethan with a gentle smile, "So Ethan. You used to be one of the two main bad guys on the Skunky Skunk show along with your brother. How did it feel?"

Ethan grinned, "Oh, it made me feel SO alive. Whenever I tried to get the best of Skunky, my adrenaline was really pumpin. But in the end, he always won. The good guy ALWAYS wins. But the rush I felt then is nothing compared to the rush I feel now, kidnapping these kids and laminating them."

Bonkers faked a smile, "I kind of know the pain you're going through, Ethan. I, too, was kicked out on the street when my show got cancelled. I had nowhere to go til I met Lucky. Wouldn't you like to do one more toony thing before you leave to prison? You know, for nostalgia sake?"

Ethan sighed, "You know, I wouldn't mind a slapstick gag."

Bonkers tossed a banana peel on the ground, "Make use of it."

Ethan spotted the banana peel and grinned, "Oh, heck yes! I'm game." The unsub rushed foward and slipped on the banana peel, falling flat on his face.

In an instant, Derek Morgan tackled the toon ermine to the ground and handcuffed him, "Ethan Ermine, you have the right to remain silent."

Prentiss ran over to the laminator machine and pressed a button, turning JJ and Marilyn back to normal. Despite the gunshot wound to her foot, Marilyn ran up to Prentiss and hugged her, "I knew we'd get rescued!"

Bonkers stood before the handcuffed ermine, glaring at him with fire burning in his eyes. With one swift blow of his fist, Bonkers knocked a few teeth out of Ethan's muzzle, "Us toons are supposed to MAKE children LAUGH, NOT MURDER them, you SICK sad little son of a BITCH!" the bobcat shouted, seething with anger and rage.

"Let him go, he's not worth it." Morgan replied.

Just then, Hotch and Miranda burst in, guns drawn. Noticing Ethan was apprehended, Hotch lowered his gun and spoke into his walkie talkie, "Clear".

Bonkers smiled at them, "It's all right, Hot Chocolate. Madmartigan, Christmas Present and I nabbed the unsub!"

Ethan smirked at Aaron Hotchner, "Nice to meet ya, I'm Ethan."

Hotch glared at the toon ermine, "Tell that to the judge."

As Ethan was being led out to the patrol car by Hotch and Morgan, another police car pulled in and an enraged Lucky Piquel exited the driver's seat and Spencer Reid exited the passenger's seat. Lucky was holding what appeared to be a super soaker squirt gun.

"Please, Lucky. Don't do this. Your daughter is fine, see? Revenge won't solve anything." Reid tried to reason with the angry agent.

Lucky marched up to Ethan Ermine and pressed the super soaker against his chest, "Hey, scumbag!"

Ethan turned his head and glared at Lucky, "WHAT!?"

"EAT DIP!" Lucky shouted.

"NO MAN, DON'T DO IT!" Morgan screamed at Lucky Piquel but it was too late, Lucky pulled the trigger and a gooey greenish-yellow dip blasted out of the gun and Ethan started screaming in pain and agony as he slowly melted into a mass of ink and paint. The song "Ordinary World" by Duran Duran cued up in the background as JJ covered Marilyn's eyes and Miranda Wright covered Marilyn's ears.

A bullet shot through Lucky's back and it was revealed that Hotch pulled the trigger on him. Bonkers and Reid watched in horror as the toon unsub dissolved slowly and painfully into nothing. All that remained was a puddle of dip and a black bomber jacket. Prentiss was on the phone, calling the paramedics and waiting for them to arrive. Once they arrived, Lucky and Marilyn were wheeled into the ambulance. Marilyn for her shot foot and Lucky for his gunshot wound in his back. Bonkers was crying with tears running down his cheeks as Spencer Reid pulled him into a hug and rubbed his back, comforting the distraught toon bobcat.

_Came in from a rainy Thursday on the avenue thought I heard you talking softly_

_I turned on the lights the TV and the radio but still I can't escape the ghost of you_

_What is happening to it all, crazy some would say_

_Where is the life that I recognize, gone away_

_And I won't cry for yesterday there's an ordinary world somehow I have to find_

_And as I try to make my way to the ordinary world I will learn to survive_

**NOTE: **_Originally, the ending song was going to be OAR's "Shattered" or Steve Conte's "Heavens Not Enough" but I decided to go with Duran Duran instead. Stay "tooned" for the next chapter where the BAU discusses the aftermath of the case on the jet._


End file.
